Pet Peeves
by iamtheletter13
Summary: Craig isn't one for petty, schoolgirl crushes, or so he keeps telling himself. Creek fluff and smut. Reviews would be appreciated.
1. Pet Peeves

Pet Peeves

[OOC: A little bit of Creek fluff. Why? Because it's cute.]

It was lunch, Craig having tucked himself away behind the school, sitting on the radiator and leaning against the wall. There was a cigarette between his lips, smoke curling upwards. The black haired male wasn't really smoking it. He had intended to, but he was zoned out, watching little clumps of white fluttering down, landing in delicate piles, blanketing the slosh left by the previous day's snow that had melted over the course of that day.

There was the wet-sounding crunch of unsteady feet on the icy ground, and Craig turned his attention away from the hypnotic motions of snow. Tweek was standing there in an ugly, puke-green jacket, hands clad in mismatched gloves, head bare of any hat. His yellow, messy hair was dotted with snow, and his wide blue eyes darted around as though he was searching for something.

"What?" Craig snapped around his cigarette, taking an actual drag and breathing in the toxins before exhaling through his nose, smoke and condensing water vapor becoming indistinguishable in the bitter cold.

"I heard you were ov-over here." Tweek stammered out, fiddling with the end of his jacket, which wasn't buttoned properly. Craig scowled at him.

"Okay, so?" The brunette drawled disinterestedly, taking another drag.

"I tho-thought you wanted some company, so I thought I would… I would do that, but if you don't want me here, I'll leave, no problem, I won't be offended, just don't be mad at me!" The shivering boy went from nervous to terrified. Craig smirked.

"No, go ahead." Craig turned his attention to the snow again, his expression having softened just a bit.

They stood in silence, Craig finishing off his cigarette and dropping it into the snow. His eyes drifted slowly over to Tweek, who was rocking on his heels and fidgeting with his coat and his gloves and his hair. Finally, the brunette turned his attention completely to his companion, moving over to him and leaning in rather close. Tweek turned bright red.

"Wh-what are y-you-"

"Shut up." Craig demanded in a dry tone, ripping the other male's jacket open, the metal clips popping with the force. There was a loud, mortified squeak.

Craig went to readjusting his inappropriately buttoned coat, fastening it properly, with all of them lined up. Tweek was stiff, teeth bared, eyes widened, the pupils suddenly dilated. When the black-haired teen pulled away, leaning in his previous spot, Tweek slackened visibly, but Craig failed to notice, watching the snow again.

"Wh… what was that…?" The blond tried tentatively.

"That's a pet peeve of mine; pisses me off to no end, seeing you walk around like a Goddamn hobo." Craig replied with a very subtle hint of annoyance in his voice. He pulled out his pack of cigarettes and patted his pockets for his lighter.

He grumbled unhappily when it wasn't in his front or jacket pockets, and he moved to stand. When he did, he glanced over at Tweek, who had the lighter in his hand, the flame flicked to life. Craig gave him a surprised noise, between a whine and grunt, pulling his cigarette between his lips and leaning forward to bring the end of his poison to life, red-orange illuminating the snow surrounding them. He breathed out the first drag, careful to point it away from Tweek, something he never did.

"It was on the ground…" Tweek explained when Craig took his lighter back with a snatching motion.

"Figures." The brunette responded.

"Uh… C-Craig…?" The other boy's voice was tentative and nervous. More nervous than it had been, at least. Craig hummed in acknowledgment.

"You shouldn't do that. Smoke, I mean. I-it's bad, for your lungs and your throat and your gums. Y-you could get cancer, then turn into a giant tumor monster, then eat everybody! Gah!" Craig half-glared at the blond.

"Th-then the army would come and destroy my house, then I would have to move to Alaska to live with my aunt, then I would be eaten by wo-" He stopped suddenly.

Craig had moved forward, pressing his lips against Tweek's, managing to shut him up. Tweek was stiff, the same kind of stiff as he had been when his jacket was adjusted, but then he melted, eyes suddenly half-lidded, opening his mouth to let in the tongue that was lapping gently at his bottom lip. Craig tasted like nicotine and broken dreams, with just a little bit of coffee behind it. He kissed back with desperate fervor, closing his eyes completely and grabbing onto the front of Craig's blue coat.

The brunette pulled away just as suddenly as he had started the kiss, leaning against the radiator and staring out into the wall of white caused by a suddenly more vigorous snow. Tweek gingerly touched his lips with his index finger, a tingle left behind, similar to a limb that had fallen asleep, or when his toes were too cold for too long.

"You're cute." Craig explained, talking around his cigarette again.

"Don't let it go to your head." He moved off of the wall and started to walk, away from the school, intending on going home.

"Y-you're not going back to class?" Tweek asked, standing up on his toes and almost shouting at the blue-clad teen's back.

"Nope. Bye." And he disappeared into white.


	2. Falling from Grace

Falling from Grace

[A/N: Smut! I couldn't help it… Kinda dub-con, I'unno…]

"Y-you can't do that! No! Please, not in my room!" Tweek almost screeched, expression mortified.

Craig was sitting on the blonde's bed, his hand hanging out of the window, a cigarette between his index and middle finger. His bored gaze moved over to Tweek, who was standing in the middle of the room, kneading the hem of his button-up pajama shirt.

It was about two in the morning. Craig had been at a Friday-night party, not particularly keen on going home and finding his father there, waiting. He was technically grounded, and he knew as soon as he got home, there would be consequences, so he walked around for a while after being kicked out of Clyde's place. He had passed Tweek's house, spotting the poor boy sitting at his desk through the window, and he had almost busted the glass by throwing a rock at it, scaring Tweek half to death.

"A-and you should close the window! What if the radioactive spiders catch onto my scent?" Tweek continued to ramble, Craig leaning out of the window to take a drag on his cigarette. His head was still swimming with alcohol.

"It's too cold for spiders." He drawled disinterestedly.

"N-not radioactive ones! Th-they're immune to cold, and they ca-can smell bad children from a mile away. If they find and bite you, you-"

"Turn into Spiderman?" Craig finished the blonde's frightened rambling, putting out his cigarette on the wall outside the window. Tweek gave him a hurt look that made him resemble a disheveled puppy.

"Y-you're not taking me s-seriously." He mumbled, and Craig furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"Of course I'm not. You're a paranoid schizophrenic." He stood from the bed, approaching the twitching boy. He stood only a few inches above him, but his stacked boots and daunting aura made him seem a foot taller.

"I think it's cute, though. That you're so messed up." Tweek was flattened against the wall he had been walked to, Craig giving him a dangerous smirk.

"Wh-what are you do-" The brunette shut him up by pressing his lips against the blonde's, Tweek melting just like he had a month before.

There were fingers pulling on the front of Craig's coat, a hand tangled in black hair, moving under his hat to try and lock their mouths closer. He tasted like cigarettes and booze, like the way that rubbing alcohol smelled, stinging the twitching male's throat. It was almost as though his body was both rejecting him and pulling him closer, none of it making any sense to the nervous teen, who was terrified of how utterly torn he was.

Craig watched with dead eyes as every little thought flashed over Tweek's features, the internal struggle he was having at just a kiss, feeling the slightly shorter boy's tongue battle with his own while the hand planted firmly on his chest tried to push him away. The brunette picked Tweek up by the thighs, two lanky arms thrown around his neck, helping to support him against the wall. He left the structure and staggered back to the bed, bending at the hips so that Tweek was on his back, kissing and whimpering and clinging.

The black haired male pulled away suddenly, chest heaving, and stared down at Tweek's form, as though he was considering his options. Making up his mind, Craig unzipped his jacket, then pushed Tweek further up on the bed, Kneeling between his legs. His fingers went to unfastening the buttons to the blonde's shirt, the boy under him suddenly stiff with fear.

"What?" Craig sounded mildly frustrated.

"I don't wa-want Super AIDS." He stammered out, the mortification apparent in his tone.

"What're you trying to say?" The brunette replied, continuing to undress Tweek even though he didn't seem to want to be undressed. Craig was too drunk to care.

"J-just three teaspoons and you're dead in three weeks! Butters told me! I don't want to die!" Craig raised one of his eyebrows.

"A-and Cartman said th-that AIDS is God's punishment for gays. Wh-which means if I turn gay, then I'm gonna ge-" Tweek was silenced when his legs were hiked above Craig's shoulders and there was a mouth around him, sucking.

He arched his back off the bed, moaning raggedly before he cupped his hand over his mouth to keep back the noise. He was almost immediately rocking up into the wet heat, his shirt unbuttoned, pajama bottoms pulled away completely. It was like nothing he had ever felt before, a flicking tongue, the constriction of the back of Craig's throat. He forgot everything; his worries, his stress, the fear of Super AIDS. All that mattered was black hair sticking up around his hand, which was trying to move him lower, faster, and the excruciatingly wonderful feeling of the mouth that was worshiping him.

He was rocking up gently, and Craig didn't seem to care, stopping his motions completely to let Tweek move at his desired pace. He was panting onto his hand in very little time, the gentle, fleeting moans that he managed to choke away because his parents were just down the hall muffled. He came, and the brunette made the first noise of protest since beginning his depraved task, pulling up and sputtering into his hand. He was surprised that it had taken so little time, swallowing easily and looking at his companion with baffled features.

"Are you… Were you a virgin?" He asked, wiping residual orgasm from the corner of his mouth. There was a shaky nod, and Craig looked mortified for a split second before he caught himself and his features melted into disinterest again.

He went to the window, making to leave with rushed motions. He was disgusted with himself, how he had so blatantly taken advantage of Tweek's need for comfort, how he had ignored his protests. He climbed from the window sill to the one below it, using his fingertips and the toes of his shoes to keep from falling. At that distance, and with the pile of snow below the blonde's room, it wouldn't have been too much of a problem, but he wasn't going to risk falling.

He didn't even realize he had left his hat and jacket in Tweek's room until he was too far to turn back. Tweek had, though. He pulled the articles of clothing onto the bed and snuggled against the coat, with Craig's hat pulled onto his head. He had still been reeling when Craig left, but now that he was gone, the blond not having the heart or the energy to close the window, he had the very real fear that he had done something wrong. Tweek tried to remember what exactly had happened, what he had done, falling asleep with the one-sided conversation they had just after playing over in his head.


	3. Craig's Hat

Craig's Hat

"Dude, where's your hat?" Stan asked, eyebrow raised.

"Nowhere, fuck off!" Craig snapped, flipping the two off and storming in the other direction.

"Who pissed in his Wheaties?" Kyle shrugged in reply, moving towards the school building with the jock in immediate tow, answering the first bell.

Craig stomped down the hallway towards his homeroom class, not really sure why he had shown up to school in the first place. He was wearing one of his father's coats, which was much too big for him and made him look almost childish. It was an ugly tan color, with sleeves that bunched up at the hands, ending at the middle of his thighs.

His mannerism broke any illusion of innocence that his coat might have construed. His face was twisted into an unhappy scowl, black hair messy because he didn't have the heart to brush it that morning. The anger on Craig's features was a dry kind, like a parent having to deal with a toddler that was throwing a fit, eyebrows knitted together on his forehead, mouth a sharp line. He was avoided by pretty much everybody he passed, Clyde averting his gaze after he tried to start a conversation as the brunette passed him but was given a dangerous glare.

Craig almost crashed into Tweek. He was running from some kind of unknown threat, footsteps rushed and uneven, barely managing to move past the taller teen, who was parading through the center of the hallway as though he owned it. The blonde's shoulder clipped Craig's, and his already shaky equilibrium was shattered, the boy falling onto the floor, scrambling to get to his feet. The male who was still standing stopped his angry walking, his expression melting into disinterest and almost unnoticeable concern. He turned on his heels, nudging Tweek with the toe of his boot.

"Gah! I'm sorry! Don't hurt me!" He shouted, rolling onto his back and staring up at Craig with absolute terror on his features.

"I'm not gonna hurt you." Craig drawled, reaching out his hand to help the other male to his feet.

"What were you running from?" He asked, looking over his shoulder, then back at Tweek again, who had accepted the offer and was brushing the front of his improperly buttoned black shirt off.

"Th-the zombie dykes! They're after me! They suck the souls of men out through their mouths, then chop off their genitals a-and turn them into dykes, too! Agh!" His eyes widened, and he stared at the space behind Craig like it was going to eat him. The black haired teen glanced at the place Tweek was staring at so intensely, finding nothing but air.

"Dude, there's nothing…" He trailed off, turning to look at the blond, only to see the back of his retreating form. He shook his head and followed after him.

There was a stairwell that used to lead to the bell tower at the top of the school, but the bell tower itself was blocked off. Because it didn't lead anywhere, the only thing separating the main hall from the stairs was a door that the janitor often forgot to lock. It wasn't very well known to the students that weren't searching the school for smoking spots.

Craig heard it click closed, the familiar creaking of the hinges, long-rusted from disuse. He wasn't fooled, moving to the door and wrenching it open. There Tweek was, rocking back and forth in the corner, face buried in his folded arms. He was a little ball of wrinkled fabric with a mop of messy yellow hair on top, mumbling incoherently. The brunette felt unbelievably bad for him, for how scared he must have been, closing the door behind him and sitting down beside his companion.

"Hey." He said, and Tweek jumped, calming some when he noticed who it was.

There was a moment of silence, the two of them staring at each other, Craig totally ignorant of the immense tension that Tweek was feeling by simply being in his company. The blond suddenly grabbed his book bag and went through it, handing Craig the hat he had left behind that weekend. Craig's expression brightened just a bit, and he took the offered article with a very small smile.

"Thanks." The raven-haired teen said, tugging it on.

"I couldn't bring your jacket." Tweek said, averting his gaze. He didn't look quite as terrified as he had.

"I know." The taller male replied evenly, reaching into the pocket of his father's jacket and pulling out his package of cigarettes. He stopped suddenly, noticing the horrified expression on the blonde's face, and decided against it.

"You have a good weekend?" Tweek tried with a nervous smile, and Craig shrugged, blowing him off in the nicest way possible.

"Hey, you know the movie theatre?" Craig asked after a very long, uncomfortable silence. Tweek nodded shakily.

"Maybe, after school today, we could go see a film. Like, together." He finished, taking off the hat he had been given and running his fingers through his hair. He put the hat back on, feeling naked without it.

"Look, I feel really bad about what happened on Friday." The brunette finally said, a mildly bemused expression on his face where sadness should have been, guilt.

"Wh-why? Did I do something wrong? I-I'm really sorry! Whatever I did, I'll never do it again, just don't hate me!" Tweek pleaded frantically, and Craig eyed him with surprise.

"Dude, I was going to apologize." The taller male put a hand on Tweek's shoulder, noticing the subtle way he melted at the contact.

"Ah! For what?!"

"For taking advantage of you. It was pretty shitty of me; I know I should have… I don't know, stopped after you told me to." He said with a sigh. There was a very long, very tense silence, this one felt by both of them.

"No. I-it was… Great, and I… I wouldn't mind if it happened again. I-I mean, not that I'm pressuring you to do that, I was just saying that I'm not mad at for it, and you're we-" Tweek stopped, took a deep breath, and tried to take himself to his happy place. Craig's apathetic gaze was distracting, though.

"So, you wanna do it again?" Craig asked, scooting a bit closer to Tweek, who was visibly trying to calm himself but failing.

Their gazes caught, Tweek biting his bottom lip, then the shorter teen leaned in, brushing his now-bleeding lips against Craig's. With one smooth motion, Tweek was pulled onto the brunette's lap, the copper-tasting kiss deepening. Tweek was whimpering into his companion's mouth, the taste of blood and cigarettes and Craig making him desperate. He shuffled forward, tilted his head, overheating from the combined feeling of his own flush and the other teen's body heat, radiating from him in waves.

Tweek was suddenly wearing too much clothing. He stripped his coat off, Craig misunderstanding his intentions and following suit, then Tweek's shaking fingers were working at the buttons of his shirt. Craig stopped kissing to watch him, his eyes and mouth their same straight line and dull stare, but his face was bright red.

"Shit, man, I can't do this…" Craig said, guiding Tweek's hips down on his own and rutting up against him anyways.

"I-is there something wr-wrong with me…?" The blond whimpered out.

"No. There's nothing wrong with you. You're…" Craig stopped to try and find the right words, his eyes moving over the other boy's torso, exposed to him, the green fabric handing off of one of Tweek's shoulders luridly.

"Perfect." He finally answered, moving forward to flick his tongue over a nipple, the blond shuddering and huffing.

His slowly moving hips suddenly jerked, and Craig stopped moving to feel Tweek rut down on him. It was absolutely sinful; so, so wrong, for them – two boys – to be doing something so lewd in such a public place. Craig had lost his head in the rhythmic rocking of the teen over him, his strained panting, the delicious look on his face.

The bell rang. Tweek turned white, as though he had just then realized what they were doing, falling onto his back in an attempt to pry himself out of Craig's suddenly iron grasp. The brunette was holding onto his hips, moving over him and thrusting their clothed pelvises together.

"Do you really want to go to class with that?" He was referring to the very obvious bulge in the shorter male's jeans, and Tweek slackened.

"N-no, but I don't want to be late…" He half-pleaded in reply.

"Calm down. Being late once won't hurt you." The other teen reasoned dryly, moving down to suck at his throat. There was a ragged moan, then another softer one in reply.

Tweek pushed Craig away, and the brunette hit the far wall, a bemused expression on his face. He gave his companion an uncaring stare while the blue eyes looking back at him were nothing but fright, with just a hint of need.

"I can't… I c-can't, not here, not with you."

Craig was suddenly angry. His eyebrows knitted together on his forehead, and he grabbed onto both of Tweek's wrists, holding him to the floor. He glared dangerously, too eager to simply let him go to class, to will his arousal away with shifty eyes as the crueler students pointed and mocked. He moved down to kiss him, never breaking eye contact, and Tweek melted at his touch like he always seemed to when they kissed. Craig pulled away and eyed his companion expectantly.

"N-never mind…" Tweek said softly, averting his gaze and gnawing on his bottom lip. His hips were rocking up again.

Craig gave a fleeting smile, as though to display his happiness, and he was thrusting down on Tweek's clothed groin, releasing his wrists, huffing into the still air. He leaned down and rested his forehead against the blonde's shoulder, imagining that there were no clothes separating them, that he wasn't just rubbing but was buried inside him.

Their heated breath melded together in the cramped space, little grunts and soft whines filling the once-uncomfortably frigid air. Their mouths met, managing to muffle the noises, and they were teenaged mindlessness, Craig asserting an animal sort of dominance while Tweek forgot everything and simply felt. Abruptly, there was no stairwell with a hidden little grove of cold concrete, no school, no rules or consequences.

Tweek came first, locking his legs around Craig's hips and trying to keep from clawing at the band t-shirt the brunette was wearing. The taller male followed after a few more desperate thrusts, moaning into the other boy's mouth. He collapsed on top of Tweek, then rolled over, onto his back, giving the blond an oddly affectionate look. Tweek smiled back.

"I need to get to class." He said, and there was nothing rushed or strained in his tone.

"Yeah." Neither of them moved.


	4. Heaven

Heaven

Craig was playing a horror game in his bedroom, sitting cross-legged on his floor. Tweek was leaning against the bed, making an effort to ignore the disturbing images on the screen. He was picking at a new scab on his arm, wearing one of Craig's shirts because he had spilled coffee on his own, and it was oddly soothing, to be enveloped in Craig's smell.

"I-in church yesterday, we talked about Heaven, a-and it scared me, what he said…" Tweek interjected, and Craig grunted, showing that he was listening.

"I-if Heaven is perpetual happiness for eternity, then… Wouldn't it get boring? Li-like… I'm afraid that after a while, I wouldn't be able to appreciate the good things because nothing bad would happen, and it would just become maddeningly dull. Like in that one Twilight Zone episode, where the guy gets everything he wants forever, and it drives him insane. A-and then I'd be thrown into Heaven jail, so I don't want to go there, but I don't want to go to Hell either, because it's perpetual pain, a-and I read Dante's Inferno; that doesn't sound any better and oh God I'm so scared!"

"Heaven is bullshit." Craig answered simply, not once looking away from his game.

"Nothing happens after we die." Tweek looked at his apathetic stare with unadulterated panic.

"Wh-what, we just cease to exist?"

"That's right." He paused his game when there wasn't a response, glancing over at Tweek, who looked like he might cry.

The brunette sighed, set his controller down, and rested his head on Tweek's lap, giving an almost-smile. The other teen calmed just a bit, returning the expression and blinking moisture away.

"Heaven, I think, is like scratching a bug bite on your ankle, but it never hurts, along with a constant nicotine high and an eternity with the people you love." Craig said, grabbing Tweek's hand and kissing his wrist.

"Or like a hot fudge sundae, when you get just the right amount of fudge and ice cream, and it's melty, smooth, cold, and warm at the same time, only all over instead of just on your tongue." Tweek calmed considerably at Craig's words.

"And it never gets old because the happiness is always changing, and you never really forget pain, so you can always appreciate it." He waited for a moment to see if Tweek would burst into tears like he was afraid would happen when he had told him there was no afterlife. When he was confident that the blond was alright, Craig returned to his previous position on the floor and pressed start on his game.

He was startled stiff when there were arms thrown around his neck, a face pressed into his back. The brunette paused his game again, eyeing his companion from over his shoulder. There were blue eyes looking back at him before they screwed shut, Tweek breathing in his scent because it was the most comforting thing he knew of.

"You're my Heaven, Craig." He muttered into the other teen's back, and Craig looked genuinely surprised. His expression melted into a sincere smile, and there were fingers running through unruly hair.

"You're my world." The brunette replied softly, too soft for Tweek to hear, more mouthing than speaking.


End file.
